Showgirls (1995)

“How can it be a rubbish film if there’s loads of tits in it?” a friend asked recently when I said I was preparing to review notorious 1990s smut-fest Showgirls. It’s a perfectly valid question. And it’s true that Showgirls doesn’t disappoint on that score – there are tits galore. There’s also some shapely bottoms on display too, plus some fleeting glimpses of fanny. It … Continue reading Showgirls (1995)

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Say what you like about Tom Cruise (and we do), but at least he’s had the sense not to let his devotion to batshit-crazy pseudo-religion Scientology impact on his movie choices. The same can’t be said of fellow traveller John Travolta who killed off what remained of his credibility with this utterly dreadful sci-fi outing. Battlefield Earth is based on a 1982 novel by ludicrous … Continue reading Battlefield Earth (2000)

United Passions (2015)

Is there anything worse than the corporate video? You know the kind of thing, a promotional film produced by, say, an oil conglomerate to make out they care about the environment and aren’t just a bunch of profiteering bastards. But it takes a special kind of arrogance to give such a vanity project a full theatrical release, so hats off to world football’s governing body, … Continue reading United Passions (2015)

Run For Your Wife (2012)

If you fancy a taste of what movies will be like in the post-Brexit apocalypse then this one is for you. Run For Your Wife harks back to the days when we Brits made Carry-on films and feature-length version of rubbish sitcoms, and everyone wore beige. The problem is this reeking cowpat of a movie makes Carry on Camping look like Citizen Kane. Its essentially … Continue reading Run For Your Wife (2012)